THE ART OF LIVING.
Posted by bmhegde on 1
“The whole world is my country, all mankind are my brethren and
to do good is my religion”
Thomas Paine.
Life is a challenge, it is a gamble, and uncertainty is its only certainty. However, life is to be enjoyed. The best way to face all these in life is to have sarvabhootapreeti (Universal love). Universal love is very easily said than done in practice. Most of us will have our narrow prejudices, our pride, ego, jealousy, and many other demonic features, which are, acquired one by one after birth. Education is the process, which should help us to get over those narrow human emotions. The present day information based competitive educational system, which is essentially a replicative process, with some applicative value for making a living, is incapable of teaching us the art of living.
The best definition of `art’ that I have been able to fish out is that of Henry Edward Thoreau, who defined `art’ as “that which makes a man’s day.” The art of living must make the day for all those whom we come across in life everyday. This is the secret of good health as well. When you give love it will reflect back and come to you in the same measure. It is in giving that you get. Amy Cassidy, an American poetess, once wrote:
“ If Joy is what you give away,
Joy is what comes back each day.”
The Universal consciousness, which western science is trying to grapple with at the moment, is the key to good living on this planet. Our cave-men forefathers were rather simple folk and they only had the simple awareness (consciousness) of the `me’ concept. Times gradually changed and man then realized the `other me’ concept, where he did recognize the importance of his mate. It gradually developed into the `many me’ concept of a commune, then a village, and a city and, for a long time, man did take pride in being the citizen of a particular country. Words like `mother country’, `patriotism’, `national pride’ etc were popular. In many areas they are still very much in circulation. Wars were waged for the sake of one’s country. Kings and rulers, in particular dictators, fought bloody battles lasting for years; the result being human suffering and misery on a very large scale. The common folklore that “wars are born in the minds of men” is absolutely true. We have “progressed” from that to the present stage of nuclear arsenal, which are aptly described as self-destructive. Science and technology (of warfare) have taken us to the brink of our own destruction! So much for our technological and scientific progress.
Our ancient Indian wisdom proclaims that all of us, wherever we are in the world, are but members of a single family (Vasudai eva kutumbikam). This is the secret of healthy living and is the essence of the concept of Universal Consciousness. There is no place for competition in human physiology. It is all co-operation all the way from the single living cell to the whole body, where a single organ can never exist in isolation. They have to live in harmony. Beautifully named organelle, the basic unit of the power house inside every cell; the organ made of millions of such cells and, the organism, full of such organs are all the part of an organization, this world, the whole human family. The root of all these words is eurg (Sanskrit) which means to work. Every part of this Universe has to work in co-operation for the world to go on (even the human body to go on).
How does this concept help the art of living?
“Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself” said Leo Tolstoy many years ago. In fact, if each one of us could change a wee bit for the better, this world would be a happier place to live in. This could only be done by having a heart to understand the other man’s point of view. Example is not one of the ways of changing human behaviour; it is the only way. It is in giving that we get. Give love and understanding liberally and be very liberal in your praise and, at the same time, be parsimonious in criticism, for the world to go on in a better way. Man needs praise. We need to praise the praise as a great tool to human growth on this planet.
“You are a wonderful cook”, “You have made my day”, “This is a nice piece of work of art”, “You are a wonderful doctor”, “This typing is so good that the reader would enjoy reading this piece” and such sentiments are the things that make the other person’s day. He/she in turn would make people who come in contact with him or her feel good. Happiness is highly contagious. It spreads like wild fire on its wings; whereas depression spreads gloom all around. Getting work done by humiliation is the way of the insecure minds, which are themselves not very happy in life. “You will never pass this examination”, “You have never done anything right so far”, “ You are useless”, and similar sentiments send the wrong signals to the endocrine system, which secretes the wrong hormones to destroy enthusiasm and drive.
“Every person is a fool in somebody’s opinion” is a time-honoured Spanish proverb, which is very apt in situations where others want to run us down to drown their own inferiority complex. If one does not realize the truth of this statement life could be painful. The following example would be illustrative. I was in a family get-together on the eve of a marriage in the family. The bride’s grandfather claimed that he knew me very well and picked up a conversation. “ I see you daily in the newspapers” he said sarcastically. I just laughed it off. He went on “You know, you are very short. (Whereas he is six feet tall, I am only five feet five and half inches) We can only see your white mustache in the pictures,” he said. I again acknowledged it with a nod. “When you sit on a chair we can’t see you, you’d better sit on the arm rest in future” he suggested. I agreed that it is very good suggestion! He looked so very happy. Later that evening, during the dinner, I overheard him tell an acquaintance of his that: “I put the doctor in his place”. If I had not known the truth of the Spanish proverb, I would have spoiled my day as also his, by opposing each of his statements with counter-statements like: “Napoleon the Great, was only five feet three inches; Socrates, the Greek philosopher, was so short with a depressed nose, but the whole of Greece was ready to fall at his feet. William Osler, the great physician of the last century, stood only five feet two inches tall,” to make him feel defeated. I could have certainly won the argument but, sadly lost the war against unhappiness. I did succeed in making his day!
The other side of the coin is also interesting. There are many people in this world who knowingly or unknowingly make other’s day even when they communicate routinely. To quote an example, I met an old student couple of mine last evening. They got married when they were my students. I had not seen the wife for a long time. Now they have two cute children and all the four of them were there for a family outing. We exchanged pleasantries. The husband told "Sir, You still look very young and fit!” Although the first part of the statement is not true and the second part is only a guess, he made my day by his statement. To be happy one should think of other’s happiness. Rev. Father Hagspiel has the following prescription for those who wish to make their lives miserable:
* Talk about yourself always.
* Use `I’ as much as possible.
* Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
* Listen greedily to what other people say about you.
* Expect to be appreciated.
* Be on the look out for a good time for yourself.
* Shirk your duties if you can.
* Do as little as possible for others.
* Love yourself supremely.
* Be very selfish.
This seems to be the ideal treatment to be miserable in this world. This indirectly tells us the secret of being happy by making others happy. “Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get.”
I am sure we are all looking for happiness! “It is great to be great, but it is greater to be human” said Will Rogers. It is great to be a great friend. A real friend is one who walks in when all others walk out. We have to remember that the “roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is very smart”-the essence of the writings of Aristotle, the Greek philosopher. The art of living is in giving and not in getting. Let us live well and let live.